Settled mainly in Lai Chau province in north west Vietnam, the La Hu ethnic  community preserves wedding customs of unique significance.

The wedding customs of the La Hu peopleNovember and December are the months in which the La Hu people celebrate  their  traditional new year. But these two months of the year are also the “wedding season” for La Hu couples.

If a young La Hu couple falls in love and decides to marry, the young man can sleep at the girl’s house for several nights in order to get to know her bet- ter. The custom even permits them to sleep together in the same bed.

The  wedding  itself is a  long  process which begins with the na-nhi ceremony, similar to the proposal ceremony of the delta areas, which often takes place at night.  Accompanied by  their  match- maker, the groom’s parents and siblings visit the girl’s house to make the propos- al of marriage. 

They bring with them offerings of wine and a “precious gift” comprising various items from the forest which must include squirrel meat. After an agreement has been reached, the two sides will drink the wine and enjoy the squirrel meat together.

Around seven or eight days after the proposal ceremony comes the betrothal ceremony. According to La Hu  tradition,  the  offerings usually include two bottles of wine and between four and eight squirrels — the groom’s family has to conform to the bride’s requirements  as  to  the  exact quantity, but the number of squirrels must always be an even one. 

During the ceremony the matchmaker is expected to cook and serve the squirrel meat to the bride’s family.

While  the  two  families are enjoying the meal, they discuss the bride’s dowry and the period of time the groom will stay at the bride’s house. In the past, the typical dowry was quite substantial, sometimes as much as 70 or 80 pieces of white silver.

If the groom was poor and had no silver, he had to move to his wife’s house immediately after the betrothal ceremony and remain there for  up  to  12  years working  for  his wife’s family. Today the length of groom’s stay at his wife’s house ranges from two to four years.

The wedding customs of the La Hu peopleAt the end of this period is the wed- ding ceremony itself, when the groom’s family goes in procession to the bride’s house to “receive” the bride and take her back to the groom’s house to live. 

La Hu custom dictates that the number of people in the groom’s party must be an odd one – this includes the groom and two matchmakers (one for each family). When the groom’s family formally “receives” the bride, the groom’s family matchmaker gives the wedding money to the bride’s family. 

Once  she has left her  family’s house with her husband, even if she misses her parents, the bride must avoid looking back to the place where she was born and brought up, for La Hu people believe that if she does so the couple will argue in the future.

The groom’s mother waits in front of the house to welcome her new daughter-in-law by rubbing a handful of rice onto her back. This custom, known as “wiping the grass off the bride,” symbolises the break between her old and new life. In some La Hu communities, the mother-in-law  also plants two galingale plants on  either side of the front door and ties a white thread from one plant to the other. 

With the bride standing on the left and the groom on the  right,  the  couple  must  cut  the thread before entering the house, the bride  using her  right  hand  and  the groom  using his left. After the  proceedings, the  two  families toast  the couple’s happiness and  good  fortune and enjoy a meal together.

Source: VCW